*should win
will win

Best Picture: I understand where all of the buzz for “The Artist” is coming from – it’s a perfect confection of a film wrapped into a kitschy, publicity-grabbing candy coating. Don’t get me wrong, there is depth, and I did enjoy the movie. I just think that when it takes Best Picture, it will be a travesty, considering that “The Descendants” and “Hugo” are both on this list.

The Artist
*The Descendants
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Should have been nominated: Like Crazy

Best Director: The race is really between Hazanavicius and Scorsese, but considering Hazanavicius / “The Artist’s” sweep of the guild awards, don’t expect much Marty-love on February 26th.

Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Michael Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
*Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

Should have been nominated: David Fincher, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”

Best Actor: It was starting to look like Clooney would have a clean sweep of the acting awards this year, but Dujardin’s win at the SAGs confused things a bit. I’m still putting my money on Clooney, but it’s far from a safe bet.

Demian Bichir, “A Better Life”
*George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

Should have been nominated: Ryan Gosling, “Drive”

Best Actress: Another two-horse race. It’s a tough call: Davis has been universally adored this year, but for a role that by all rights should qualify for Best Supporting Actress billing. Regardless, she and Streep have been neck-and-neck all year. Mara’s breakout work deserves the award, but for the moment I’m giving the edge to Streep.

Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
*Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

Should have been nominated: Elizabeth Olsen, “Martha Marcy May Marlene”

Best Supporting Actor: This is race is already won. No contest for Plummer.

Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
*Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Max von Sydow, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”

Should have been nominated: Albert Brooks, “Drive”

Best Supporting Actress: The battle is between Spencer and McCarthy at this point, although Spencer and Chastain have been splitting the awards so far. When it comes down to it, Chastain may be nominated for “The Help,” but her scene-stealing work in “Coriolanus,” “Take Shelter,” and others this year merits a win as well.

Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
*Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

Should have been nominated: Shailene Woodley

1. The Top 10 Films of 2011

This was a surprisingly good year for film, if you ask me. I know, I know, the box office was miserable, but in my first few months living in a real city, I got to see more quality films than I thought existed. So, to me, it was a good year for film. Here are the crème de la crème:

50/50
The Artist
Bridesmaids
The Descendants
Drive
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
*Like Crazy
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Super 8

When it comes down to it, the utterly realistic “Like Crazy” takes the cake for me. Hopelessly romantic in all the right ways, I couldn’t stop crying, but I also couldn’t stop smiling.

Honorable mention: Contagion

2. The Top 10 Actors of 2011 (Film)

Asa Butterfield
Albert Brooks
George Clooney
Jean Dujardin
Ralph Fiennes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
*Ryan Gosling
Gary Oldman
Brad Pitt
Christopher Plummer

What a stellar year for Ryan Gosling. Yes, it was tempting for me to pick George Clooney, but between “Crazy, Stupid, Love,” “Drive,” and “The Ides of March”…WOW. A class act, and a fantastic actor.

Honorable mention: Benedict Cumberbatch

3. The Top 10 Actresses of 2011 (Film)

*Jessica Chastain
Viola Davis
Felicity Jones
Rooney Mara
Melissa McCarthy
Elizabeth Olsen
Octavia Spencer
Emma Stone
Meryl Streep
Shailene Woodley

Who is Jessica Chastain, you ask? Where were you this year? I respond. “The Tree of Life,” “Take Shelter,” “The Help,” “Coriolanus,” and “The Debt” all benefited from the presence of this breakout star.

Honorable mention: Jennifer Lawrence

4. The Top 10 TV Shows of 2011 (5 Dramas, 5 Comedies!)

American Horror Story
Downton Abbey
The Good Wife
*Homeland
Revenge

TV just keeps getting better, it would seem, and just five dramas is a tough call. But there you go. The best new show in years, “Homeland” is stunning television. Stunning.

Honorable mention: Parenthood

The Big C
Community
Modern Family
*Parks and Recreation
Suburgatory

No show on television right now has more heart than “Parks and Rec,” and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Amy Poehler and co. have built in Pawnee a fully realized town that it is a pleasure to visit every Thursday evening.

Honorable Mention: The Middle

5. The Top 10 Actors of 2011 (TV)

Hugh Bonneville
Ty Burrell
Chris Colfer
Kelsey Grammer
*Peter Krause
Andrew Lincoln
Nick Offerman
Evan Peters
Dan Stevens
Eric Stonestreet

Peter Krause gives us one of the best, most subtle performances on television every week on perhaps the most underwatched show on TV, “Parenthood.” Watch this. You owe it to your tear ducts.

Honorable mention: Rico Rodriguez

6. The Top 10 Actresses of 2011 (TV)

Claire Danes
Michelle Dockery
Jessica Lange
Laura Linney
Julianna Margulies
Elizabeth McGovern
Amy Poehler
Monica Potter
*Maggie Smith
Emily Van Camp

This was probably my toughest decision, considering the quality of female acting on TV right now. I mean, really. It’s absurd. At the end of the day, though, Maggie Smith steals the show on “Downton Abbey.” And that’s difficult, considering the number of outstanding actors on “Downton.”

Honorable mention: Madeleine Stowe

7. The Top 10 Trends of 2011 I Wish Would Go Away

AMC budget cuts
*Channing Tatum
Homophobic comedies (and comedians!)
LieMAX
Low-quality animated films
Michael Fassbender
NBC’s decision-making abilities
Oscar elitism
Transformers
Twilight

Oh, man. Between Fassbender and Tatum, I really had trouble choosing this one. The key difference is that, as annoying as I find the omnipresence of Fassy, he at least has some acting chops, and is going to be in “Prometheus” this year. What do we have to look forward to from Tatum, now that “Haywire” and “The Vow” have come out and been terrible? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the sudden discovery that he actually has a neck. Nope, it’s “21 Jump Street” and the “G.I. Joe” sequel. And “Magic Mike,” but I’ll be too distracted by Matthew Bomer to notice Tatum on screen.

Honorable mention: Ineffective and bad 3D

8. The Top 10 Films to Check Out in 2012

Brave
The Dark Knight Rises
Django Unchained
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
*The Hunger Games
Les Misérables
Magic Mike
Prometheus
The Secret Life of Arrietty
World War Z

“The Hunger Games” may be the obvious choice, but can you really fault me for making it? I thought not.

Honorable mention: Gravity

Some brand new Oscars, picture courtesy of uk.movies.yahoo.com

Best Picture: This wasn’t an especially surprising list, except for two: “The Tree of Life,” which has really lost steam since its release in May, and “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,” which thus far has been ignored by all of the major awards guilds. The choice of 9 nominees given the new system is quite telling: it means that there likely weren’t any major frontrunners in this round of voting, given that a film must earn at least 5% of the vote to be nominated. So yes, in theory, one film got 60% of the votes, but who really believes that? The race seems to be between “The Artist,” “The Descendants,” and “Hugo,” but who knows? Maybe they’ll split the vote and a surprise winner will take it!

The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Best Director: No surprises here. Seeing Terrence Malick is refreshing, but not if the price we have to pay is David Fincher.

Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Michael Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

Best Actor: I could not be happier to have been wrong in picking the nominees for this race. I thought that Fassbender and DiCaprio’s turns this year have been entirely overrated – why nominate an actor for a role in a bad movie? – and Bichir and Oldman are benefiting from good press from the BAFTA and guild nominations. Their additions to the mix makes this a tougher race to call, although I think it’s still between Pitt and Clooney.

Demian Bichir, “A Better Life”
George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

Best Actress: No surprises here, although I didn’t really expect my guess on Mara to pay off! A very deserved nomination, and hey, perhaps she’ll benefit from the vote being split between Streep and Davis! Just like I thought with Fassbender and DiCaprio, though, I’ll say this: why nominate Close for a film that has been panned?

Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

Best Supporting Actor: Now here is a race full of unexpected nominations! Albert Brooks would have been my personal pick for the win, but “Drive” was totally ignored by the Academy in turn for their love of veteran actors. That’s right, Hill is the only first time nominee; the other four have eight nominations between them. It’s anyone’s guess right now who will win (by which I mean Plummer has it).

Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Max von Sydow, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”

Best Supporting Actress: MELISSA MCCARTHY!!!! I’m rather disappointed that Shailene Woodley didn’t get the recognition she deserves, but for the most part this list is spot on. Right now it’s Spencer’s to lose, but the McCarthy lobby has proven itself rather strong throughout the season so far…who knows!

Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

Best Picture:

The Academy has YET AGAIN redone the rules on Best Picture voting this year, meaning that between 5 and 10 films can be nominated. The five that I consider the most likely nominees are first, with the asterisked films easily making the Top 10 for the Academy. The field truly is wide open this year, at least where nominations are concerned, so it’s anyone’s guess as to how many films will actually get nominated. I’m predicting eight, which would probably knock off “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” and “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” Yes, that’s right: I’ve got my money on a surprise “Bridesmaids” nomination.

The Artist
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
*War Horse
*The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
*Bridesmaids
*Moneyball
*Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Possible spoilers: “The Tree of Life”; “The Ides of March”; “Drive”

Best Director:

I won’t claim to know a lot about the technicalities behind what differentiates a good director from a great director, but I do know which directors crafted some captivating films this year. I’m going for those that drew me in with their cinematographic and editorial skills, and insightful, original plots, NOT over-arching, bash-you-over-the-head messages and rehashes. Again, some of these spots are locks, but the field truly is wide-open.

Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
David Fincher, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Michael Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

Possible spoilers: George Clooney; Nicolas Winding Refn; Terrence Malick; Steven Spielberg; Tate Taylor

Best Actor:

In a year of very, very strong A-list and newbie performances, the list here is short. Consider Clooney, Pitt, and Dujardin locks. The other two spots are debatable – Oldman was mostly ignored until the BAFTA nominations, while Fassbender has been gaining a lot of positive press for a film that received at best mixed reviews (as has DiCaprio). Could Gosling pull off an upset after his amazing year, or someone else for that matter?

George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “J. Edgar”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Michael Fassbender, “Shame”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

Possible spoilers: Ryan Gosling; Gary Oldman; Michael Shannon

Best Actress:

This race might be tied up nicely between Davis and Streep, but like Best Actor, there are only three locked nominations (the former and Williams). Consider the other two slots up for grabs. I’m picking Mara because I think she deserves it, and Close because she is quickly becoming the Susan Lucci of the Oscars, but never, NEVER count out the spoilers in this race. They all merit nominations.

Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

Possible spoilers: Tilda Swinton; Elizabeth Olsen; Charlize Theron; Kirsten Dunst

Best Supporting Actor:

This race seems pretty well locked down, with Kingsley being the only one up for debate. Anyone could take that fifth spot, but it doesn’t really matter in Plummer’s race to lose.

Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Albert Brooks, “Drive”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Ben Kingsley, “Hugo”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”

Possible spoilers: Patton Oswalt; Max von Sydow; Nick Nolte

Best Supporting Actress:

This is possibly my favorite category this year, given the breadth of performances that seem destined to be nominated. McCarthy is my horse in this race, but it’s Spencer’s to lose. Honestly, Spencer is probably the only locked nomination.

Bérénice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help” (or “The Tree of Life,” or “Take Shelter,” but I’m predicting “The Help”)
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”
Shailene Woodley, “The Descendants”

Possible spoilers: Janet McTeer

*should win
will win

Best Drama (film):

*The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
War Horse

This has been a strong year for dramas – I could easily think of several others equally deserving of a place on this list. Many prognosticators are already predicting a win at the Oscars for “The Help,” purely because it has audience appeal and a touching, if dated message. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, though, while often pandering for ratings (see: “The Tourist” getting nominations last year), also tends to reward truly well-crafted films. For me, this is a two horse race between “The Descendants” and “Hugo,” with “The Descendants” getting the edge for its more adult subject matter.

Best Comedy/Musical (film):

50/50
The Artist
*Bridesmaids
Carnage
Midnight in Paris
My Week With Marilyn

This category is a bit of a mess. I have trouble classifying at least two of these films as comedies (“The Artist” and “My Week With Marilyn”), but “The Artist” has been a favorite to sweep this year’s awards since it premiered. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an extremely well done, beautiful, touching movie. I just think that, where comedies are concerned, “Bridesmaids” took the cake this year. It’s annoying to me that high-brow pseudodramas are infiltrating this category, but it is what it is.

Best Actor in a Drama (film):

*George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”
Ryan Gosling, “The Ides of March”
Michael Fassbender, “Shame”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “J. Edgar”

The Clooney-Pitt matchup is something that you should expect to be seeing straight through the Oscars, and it looks like, barring a Jean Dujardin upset at the Oscars, one if these A-listers will be winning a lot of trophies. I’m predicting Clooney, because, while many think it’s Pitt’s “time,” I’ve never been willing to agree with that logic, and I just liked Clooney better. Noteworthy: if Gosling had been nominated for “Drive,” my personal choice would have been him.

Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical (film):

Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Brendan Gleeson, “The Guard”
*Joseph Gordon-Levitt, “50/50”
Ryan Gosling, “Crazy, Stupid, Love”
Owen Wilson, “Midnight in Paris”

This list of nominees basically seems designed to give Dujardin the award. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great; I would just really prefer to see Gordon-Levitt win for his subtle, totally underrated showing in “50/50.”

Best Supporting Actor (film):

Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
*Albert Brooks, “Drive”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Viggo Mortensen, “A Dangerous Method”

Again, a case of it being Plummer’s (looooooong overdue) “time.” Not that this wasn’t a great performance – Plummer was truly touching in “Beginners.” I just think he was outclassed by Brooks, who was terrifying in “Drive.”

Best Actress in a Drama (film):

Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
*Rooney Mara, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Tilda Swinton, “We Need to Talk About Kevin”

This is likely a race between Streep and Davis, as will most of this year’s contests be. I don’t agree with Davis’ placement in the lead actress category this year, which I’ll discuss further in my Oscars post later this week, but in the meantime expect to see Streep take home her eighth (EIGHTH!) Globe. Personally? I want to see Mara rewarded for her daring and startling performance in “Tattoo.”

Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical (film):

Jodie Foster, “Carnage”
Charlize Theron, “Young Adult”
*Kristen Wiig, “Bridesmaids”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”
Kate Winslet, “Carnage”

Like I said, I don’t think Williams or this film belong in the comedy categories. That said, she definitely has the strongest performance of these five women. I just think that if the integrity of the category is to be kept, then the award should go to Wiig.

Best Supporting Actress (film):

Shailene Woodley, “The Descendants”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
*Jessica Chastain, “The Help”

Talk about a loaded category! I’d be more than happy to see any of these women, except perhaps McTeer, win. That said, in my mind this was the year of Chastain, and she deserves these awards. Spencer will likely win, either as a consolation for Davis’ loss in the lead actress category, or as a complement to her surprise win. Bejo is the possible upset here.

Best Drama (TV):

American Horror Story
Boardwalk Empire
Boss
Game of Thrones
*Homeland

“Homeland” is without a doubt the best new series of the year, and deserves the accolades that it has coming. “Boardwalk Empire” is like catnip for the HFPA, though, so it is a possible upset. My question: where are the network dramas, like “Fringe,” “The Good Wife,” and “Parenthood”? The only two I would keep on this list are “Homeland” and “American Horror Story…”

Best Comedy (TV):

Enlightened
Episodes
Glee
*Modern Family
New Girl

Let the record show that I think the HFPA screwed up majorly in these nominations. I won’t discuss it at length here, but really. What the heck?

Best TV Movie or Miniseries:

Cinema Verité
*Downton Abbey
The Hour
Mildred Pierce
Too Big to Fail

“Downton Abbey” is, in my opinion, second only to “Homeland” in new shows. It is an absolute treat to watch, and, while now officially a TV series rather than a miniseries, I still hope that the HFPA will recognize its quality. If “The Hour” or “Mildred Pierce” win, it’s only as a penalty to “Downton Abbey” for announcing a second season after becoming eligible for miniseries awards.

Best Actor in a Drama (TV):

Steve Buscemi, “Boardwalk Empire”
Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”
Kelsey Grammer, “Boss”
Jeremy Irons, “The Borgias”
*Damian Lewis, “Homeland”

Did the letter B win a contest or something? Again, the dominance of cable programming is surprising, but not undeserved. Given the fact that “Breaking Bad” was otherwise ignored by the HFPA in what has been called its best season, I would expect Cranston to take this.

Best Actor in a Comedy (TV):

Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”
David Duchovny, “Californication”
*Johnny Galecki, “The Big Bang Theory”
Thomas Jane, “Hung”
Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes”

As with Best Comedy Series, I will keep my comments short: HUH!? Get it together, HFPA.

Best Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries:

*Hugh Bonneville, “Downton Abbey”
Idris Elba, “Luther”
William Hurt, “Too Big to Fail”
Bill Nighy, “Page Eight”
Dominic West, “The Hour”

West is a possible upset in this category, but Bonneville’s performance in “Downton Abbey” has been truly inspired.

Best Supporting Actor (TV):

Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”
Paul Giamatti, “Too Big to Fail”
Guy Pearce, “Mildred Pierce”
Tim Robbins, “Cinema Verité”
*Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”

Expect Dinklage to repeat his Emmy win. Pearce has a minimal chance of an upset, but I doubt it. For me it’s between Dinklage and Stonestreet; I personally would prefer a Stonestreet win.

Best Actress in a Drama (TV):

*Claire Danes, “Homeland”
Mireille Enos, “The Killing”
Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
Madeleine Stowe, “Revenge”
Callie Thorne, “Necessary Roughness”

Whew! Talk about a tough call! I adore Julianna Margulies, and I almost wish that “Homeland” could have waited another year to premiere, if only to give “The Good Wife” another year to sweep the awards, but I have to go with Danes. What a powerful performance. Worthwhile question: why was Madeleine Stowe nominated when Emily van Camp is the lead on “Revenge”?

Best Actress in a Comedy (TV):

Laura Dern, “Enlightened”
Zooey Deschanel, “New Girl”
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Laura Linney, “The Big C”
*Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation”

This is a Melissa McCarthy (and a Martha Plimpton) short of repeating the Emmy nominations, and I’m a bit shocked that the Emmy winner isn’t nominated. It’s just as tough a call as in September, but I think the kookiness of “New Girl” is going to appeal to the HFPA just enough for a surprise Deschanel win. WILL NO ONE GIVE “PARKS AND REC” THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES!?

Best Actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries:

Romola Garai, “The Hour”
Diane Lane, “Cinema Verité”
*Elizabeth McGovern, “Downton Abbey”
Emily Watson, “Appropriate Adult”
Kate Winslet, “Mildred Pierce”

Normally I wouldn’t put Kate Winslet in second place for anything, and it’s a very tough call here, but I think McGovern’s work in “Downton Abbey” is in a class of its own. Sorry, Kate (but you’ll probably win anyway!)!

Best Supporting Actress (TV):

Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story”
Kelly Macdonald, “Boardwalk Empire”
*Maggie Smith, “Downton Abbey”
Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family”
Evan Rachel Wood, “Mildred Pierce”

I don’t understand why the supporting awards are combined into two categories at the Golden Globes, but who am I to question? I also don’t envy the HFPA having to choose between Smith and Lange. If forced to choose, I personally would go with Smith, but Lange is not far behind, and I have a feeling that she’ll take it anyway.

If you made it this far, congratulations! Enjoy the show!

Melancholia: In “Melancholia,” one of recent history’s most visionary and controversial directors, Lars von Trier (“Antichrist” and others), presents a visually striking and psychologically fascinating, if at times plodding, film about a planet named Melancholia destroying the world, and melancholia destroying the inner world of a woman named Justine, played by a tragically lovely Kirsten Dunst. Backed up by a fantastic cast featuring Kiefer Sutherland, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, and Charlotte Gainsbourg, Dunst’s performance is riveting as a woman who is given everything – a loving family, a great job at which she excels, a gorgeous and dedicated husband – but cannot cherish it. Yet when the end of the world literally comes barreling towards her in the form of a large blue planet, she finds an inner strength perhaps reflective of that in all of us, no matter how disturbed. “Melancholia” is a lovingly crafted, and indeed lovely looking, film. A-.

Puss in Boots: Yes, I did see this. No, I’m not entirely proud of that fact. All things considered, though, I was less disappointed than expected, mostly thanks to the cat in the above video. The plot was a less-than-refreshing fairy tale rehash à la “Shrek”, but the whole premise of this franchise has started to grow rather stale, and no amount of very cute animated kitten romping can take care of that. Also, Humpty Dumpty is really creepy looking. Just sayin’. C.

The Descendants: For quite a while, I was not George Clooney’s biggest fan. Not to say that I hated him, but I just didn’t really get it. That started to change with “Burn After Reading,” and each film he has done since has only made me like him more (if we ignore “The Men Who Stare at Goats”). In “The Descendants,” Clooney takes a turn as downtrodden Hawaiian lawyer Matt King, who must face the crumbling of his marriage, learning how to be the father his daughters need, caring for his cheating and comatose wife, and, oh yeah, selling his family’s multi-thousand acre plot of pristine Hawaiian coastline. Clooney is the heart and soul of this movie, in an utterly moving and often comical performance, although Shailene Woodley is a revelation. If I could detract from this movie I would, but I cannot. A.

Hugo: Consider it Martin Scorsese’s love letter to Hollywood’s early days if you like, or consider it children’s fare if you’re narrow-minded, or consider it a straight adaptation of a beloved book if you must. All of these statements are technically true, but “Hugo” transcends them. Asa Butterfield is a welcome surprise as young Hugo, and Sir Ben Kingsley is in prime form (a rarity of late); for the first time ever Sacha Baron Cohen is more than a caricature and I can forgive Jude Law’s receding hairline. On one level this is a movie about an orphan who can’t catch a break rediscovering love and family. On another, it’s about famed filmmaker Georges Méliès rediscovering his passion. Then again, it’s also about Europe rediscovering its own heart and joie de vivre after the First World War and the Great Depression, just in time for World War II. A.

So what do you have to look forward to? Well, tune in tonight for another batch of short movie reviews, because I watch a lot of movies. Later this week, you’ll be sure to find the beginning of a number of Top 10 lists, from this year’s crop of new movies and TV shows to the best performances and more random things that I feel like discussing, like opening themes and jokes about Jerry Gergich. Hooray! There’s lots of new content to come, and I promise that if you stick around, you’ll at least know who Ricky Gervais lampoons at the Golden Globes this year (my prediction: the cast of “Carnage” will not escape unscathed).

I think it’s a safe bet that if you asked the average moviegoer to name a recent film that to them realistically conveyed the twists and turns of love in modern times, you would hear a variety of answers – “The Notebook,” “Valentine’s Day,” “Love, Actually,” “Music and Lyrics,” maybe even “The Bounty Hunter” or a similar piece of crap if you have ridiculously uninformed friends. Absolute bull, I say! A couple of these movies are quite good films, and I’ll readily give them credit for that (“a couple” here means “The Notebook” and “Love, Actually,” exclusively), but what I’m trying to get at here is that an accurate, truly realistic portrayal of love has become about as hard to find as a redeeming quality to Uwe Boll’s filmography. Instead, we get totally idealistic tales with immutably happy endings (well, usually, as long as Nicholas Sparks isn’t involved) that come after some large obstacle that the audience should have no doubt will be overcome.

It was thus with a sigh of relief that I settled in to a matinee showing of “Like Crazy,” a new film from a more-or-less unknown indie director, Drake Doremus. “Like Crazy” pairs Anton Yelchin  (“Star Trek,” “Charlie Bartlett”) opposite the fantastic Felicity Jones (“Brideshead Revisited”) as college sweethearts, one an American architecture student and the other a British writer. When Jones’ Anna is forced back to the U.K. on a perhaps permanent basis after violating the statutes of her visa, she and Yelchin’s Jacob struggle through the many realities of a long-distance relationship. The two stay in touch as well as they can, and Jacob visits Anna when his bank account and his budding furniture business permit, but realistically, for how many years can a continents-spanning romance thrive when everything seems to be set against it?

Jacob and Anna eventually find solace in the arms of Sam (the always inimitable Jennifer Lawrence) and Simon (Charlie Bewley, otherwise known as one of “Twilight’s” Volturi…scratch that, now known as “Like Crazy’s” Simon). No one really does know, though, if these new relationships trump what Jacob and Anna feel for one another. Jacob and Anna certainly do not, and Sam and Simon most definitely are left clueless, as are Anna’s parents Bernard (Oliver Muirhead) and Jackie (Alex Kingston!!). Is the relationship worth trying to sustain when so many sacrifices have already been made for so little progress? If the immigration barrier is ever lifted, will Anna have anything to go back to? Do either Anna or Jacob even care to revisit the story of their early 20s when given the chance?

These questions are what, to me, make “Like Crazy” such a worthwhile film experience. The plot is handed to the audience totally unadorned. There are no tragic and unexpected terminal illnesses, no wars to be fought, no pre-existing baggage. This is simply the story of young love struggling to survive when it has been torn asunder by unavoidable circumstances, and the couple that must decide whether or not it is something worth preserving. A.

The Ides of March: George Clooney’s latest directorial effort, “The Ides of March,” started its campaign for your ticket money on October 7^th, and since then it has grossed a rather surprising $40+ million. It’s not surprising, though, when you consider the quality of the movie. Clooney takes what has become a trope in modern politics – the perverse public focus on bureaucrats’ sex lives – and manages to make the current political realm seem even more hopeless. When even the best of us – the idealistic liberal press secretary, the experienced-but-still-optimistic campaign manager, the awestruck intern, the rare honest and popular politician – can be destroyed by the lures of sex, money, and fame, to whom can we turn? When, rather than being destroyed by their weaknesses, they instead are able to cover them up and continue campaigning, what hope is there? Clooney’s Governor Mike Morris is particularly shrewd for how much hope he inspires, and Evan Rachel Wood and Philip Seymour Hoffman cause so much drama that your head will spin, but the film turns on yet another star performance by Ryan Gosling. This tale of political intrigue, much like the real world of politics, is totally lacking in sympathetic characters, and could not have been released at a more perfect time in America. The plot is rather predictable, but the quality of acting is definitely deserving of a B+.

Real Steel: Anyone who knows my taste in movies is probably shocked that I paid to see this (in IMAX, no less!). Even I am shocked that I paid to see Hugh freaking Jackman in a movie about robot boxing. WHAT!? Regardless, it happened, and I’m even more surprised to say that I’m happy with the result. Chalk it up to very low expectations, but “Night at the Museum” director Shawn Levy and Jackman, along with Evangeline Lilly and the freakishly cute and precocious Dakota Goyo, have turned Richard Matheson’s short story “Steel” into a touching, entertaining movie. Jackman plays a down-and-out former boxer who has kept with the sport in its latest iteration, namely funding and training boxing robots, and in the process has totally ignored the fact that he has a son. Of course, when mom bites it, that all changes, and Goyo’s Max shows up to help Jackman rediscover who he is and what really matters. It’s all pretty typical man-who-has-it-all-finding-that-he-has-it-all fare, but a cast that works and lots of stylish set pieces elevate “Real Steel” to a B.

Footloose: Oh, man. I may be a diehard musical freak, but when it comes to 1984’s “Footloose,” count me out. The movie just never did it for me, as much as I love the titular song. Consider me a changed man, courtesy of Craig Brewer’s new version of the cult classic, starring Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andie MacDowell, and Ray McKinnon. The plot is even harder to swallow in 2011, considering that a town is able to get away with banning unsupervised dancing and that, as luck would have it, every youth in the town is an extremely talented dancer, but that doesn’t make it any less entertaining. Newcomer Kenny Wormald isn’t exactly convincing leading man material, but lord, can he dance. The same is true of Julianne Hough, although I’ve always had a problem with 23-year-olds in teenage roles (which says nothing of the 27 year old Wormald!). The tension between Dennis Quaid’s spitfire preacher and Andie MacDowell, the town’s uppity woman-folk / preacher’s wife, though, is palpable, and brings believable family drama to an otherwise fluffy movie. This delicious confection gets a B-.

Paranormal Activity 3: I love a good scare, and after years of having no option besides the (admittedly entertaining) gorefests of “Saw” and “Final Destination” the old-school appeal of the “Paranormal Activity” series will probably take a while to wear thin on most horror fans. Three films in, everyone in the audience knows when to expect a scare: some weird stuff happens in the first forty minutes, including several totally innocuous jump-in-your-seat moments caused by pranks and the like, but then things get really freaky because of weird children, witchcraft, and ghosts, leading to backs literally being broken. “Paranormal Activity 3” is no different. Scares can come any time a camera in the home is turned on, and since that is the whole movie, your spine never really stops tingling. The scares might be the same as in the first two movies, but their unpredictability means that they still elicit screams and nervous laughter. This is by no means a masterpiece, and the found-footage thing is getting really old, but I will definitely be seeing at least the next two “Paranormal Activity” movies, and, let’s be honest: they will be made. For adding fans and sheets to the list of things ruined for me by horror movies, and for a decidedly weird turn in the last five minutes, “Paranormal Activity 3” earns a B.

Martha Marcy May Marlene: Her sisters may have been child stars and are now fashion icons, but Elizabeth Olsen has poignantly proven that she can hold her own as a member of this famous family. In “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” the younger Olsen takes on the role of Martha, a well-to-do young woman who is so disenchanted with her life as to join a polygamist cult, purposefully led by Patrick, here played by the ever-creepy John Hawes, which she later flees. Infuriatingly, the film never tells us what trauma led Martha to the cult, where she took on the joint roles of Marcy May and Marlene, or exactly what caused her to flee back to her estranged sister, Lucy, played by Sarah Paulson. What first-time director Sean Durkin does let the audience know is that Martha is an extremely disturbed and paranoid young woman, who doesn’t understand who she is or where she’s going, and has consistently been pushed away by a family that doesn’t quite seem to get the whole nurturing thing. While Lucy and her new husband Ted, played by “The Big C’s” Hugh Dancy, cope with Martha’s return and total dissociation from societal norms, Martha’s downward spiral continues. In the end, “Martha Marcy May Marlene” portrays a broken family pushed to the brink by a prodigal daughter who doesn’t know if she should ever stop running. And even if she did, to whom would she run? A-.

Take Shelter: Like the titular character of “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” “Take Shelter’s” Curtis (Michael Shannon) knows how to dramatically wet the bed when at his most paranoid and confused. But Curtis, far from the frail ex-cult member Martha, is a strong, rural family man plagued by mysterious (and terrifying) apocalyptic visions. Scared that he may be on his way to schizophrenia just like his mother, Curtis seeks help, but, rather than letting that help serve its purpose, Curtis gives in to his visions, turning the lives of his wife (Jessica Chastain) and deaf daughter upside down. The visions remain as mysterious at the end of the film as at the beginning: are they truly a manifestation of mental illness? Do they serve some metaphorical purpose in Curtis’ life, spurred by his need to protect his family at all costs? Is Curtis actually a modern-day prophet, saving himself and his loved ones from a maddening downpour? Any and all could be true. The easiest conclusion to draw from “Take Shelter” is that Jessica Chastain is one of this year’s breakout stars. Her scene-stealing roles this year include “The Help,” “The Debt,” “The Tree of Life,” and, likely, “Coriolanus.” Whoa. A-.

Immortals: The producers of “300” have created a gorgeous, terrible film in the same vein. Henry Caville, who was recently chosen as the new Superman, leads the cast of “Immortals,” and, hey, at least Clark Kent is about to gain some really nice pecs! Frieda Pinto plays the endangered oracle, leading Theseus (Caville) through hordes of Greeks to his final fight with King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke). Eventually the Titans make an appearance, leading to some epic but brief support from the gods of Olympus. There’s really not much to say about “Immortals.” Director Tarsem Singh has crafted an absolutely beautiful world. That world just happens to be absolutely devoid of worthwhile plot or skillful acting from any involved. That said, I tend to be pleased by toned bodies and massive fight sequences. C.

The Muppets: Jason Segel’s nostalgic and loving revival of the Muppets franchise is one of the highlights of fall 2011. It certainly won’t be garnering any Oscar nominations, but that doesn’t keep it from being downright touching and hilarious. The title really says it all: the Muppets are back, with all of the antics and “Rainbow Connection”-singing that should entail. Years after breaking up, the troupe reunite with the encouragement of Gary (Segel), Mary (Amy Adams), and Gary’s puppet brother (huh??), Walter, in order to save the Muppets Studio from being bought by evil oil baron Tex Richman, played to hilarious effect by Chris Cooper. The old gang gets up to their old tricks, harassing stars like Jack Black, Whoopi Goldberg, Neil Patrick Harris, Emily Blunt, and Felicia Rashad in the course of planning and producing the telethon that may or may not save the day. Musical numbers, gut-busting laughs, and, if you’re like me, tears ensue. A-.

Side note: really, football. Stop it. If CBS is going to put “The Amazing Race” and “The Good Wife” on after football, then football needs to stick to the three hours already devoted to it. I need my Sunday night Julianna Margulies fix! 

2 Broke Girls: So far Kat Dennings and friends have treated us to three episodes of the lives of waitresses Max and Caroline, and I must admit to having mixed feelings. My love of Dennings remains unwavering, and I think that she and costar Beth Behrs have done a fantastic job with what they’ve been given. That said, the material leaves a lot to be desired. Most of the one-liners being doled out work quite well, but every once in a while there’s one thrown in there purely for the shock factor, like the repeated punch line of yelling “Vagina!” No, Michael Patrick King and Whitney Cummings (hehe Cummings), that is not funny in and of itself. The other characters – crusty cashier, innocent yet creepy manager, and sleazy cook – aren’t playing much of a part yet, although the lovely horse Chestnut has provided some hilarious and touching moments. The running ticker at the end of each episode of how much the girls have saved towards their goal of opening a bakery is  nice touch. Funny (most of the time) and well acted (all of the time), these girls definitely are going for broke, and they’re getting a B+ out of it right now.

Glee: My Tuesday nights are always brightened by the drama-free tunes of “Glee.” What’s that? This “comedy” still has more drama than a Shakespeare compendium? Well that’s rude. But the dramatic plots are at least appetizing, right? WHAT!? Quinn is going to try to steal back her already legally adopted baby and Mercedes is being divatastic again!? Come off it, Ryan Murphy. Really. You do understand that even high school girls are not this ridiculous, right? That said, I appreciate the revival of Idina Menzel’s Shelby and the triumphant return of Dot-Marie Jones’ Coach Beiste. Sue is as sorely lacking as ever, but last week’s billing of “Asian F” as the best episode of “Glee” to date might not have been way off. The performances were spot on, the comedy was timed perfectly, and it was nice to explore some underused characters. I’m going to pray that the Quinn plot disappears, and assuming that, give the season so far an A-.

New Girl: Zooey Deschanel is pulling out all of the stops so far on Fox’s hit new comedy. “New Girl” is hitting all the right notes week after week and even Jess’s horndog roommates are starting to differentiate into three distinct characters. Schmidt is stupid and oversexed, but nice to look at and truly concerned about Jess’s welfare. Nick and Jess have spent a lot of time bonding over being spurned. Winston, the replacement for Damon Wayans, Jr.’s Coach, has managed to take on the role of resident jock-in-transition aptly. And Jess…oh, Jess. Will I ever tire of your inability to dress yourself, or your fake teeth? I hope not. One of the highlights of the new season, “New Girl” is getting an A. But stop making Zooey Deschanel sound bad when she sings. Really.

Survivor: This season of “Survivor” hasn’t stood out much so far. Brandon is nuts, and makes me ashamed of my first name, but that’s about it. Ozzy looks primed to pull a Boston Rob and win the whole shebang, unless marijuana salesman Jim and scrawny Cochran can pull some more players to their side. On the other side of the island, Brandon keeps staring at crotches and making people uncomfortable, all while begging for God’s forgiveness. And of course, true to form for me and reality TV, my early favorites – Edna and Dawn – are on the chopping blocks of their respective tribes. Boo, for the B this season is getting three episodes in. Step it up, “Survivor”!

Criminal Minds: There are a few reasons I watch TV. “Glee” and “The X Factor” make me sing and dance. “Community” and “Parks and Rec” make me feel like everything is rainbows, sunshine, and happiness. And “Criminal Minds” grosses me out and makes me feel like humanity is irredeemable. Since the beginning of the season, “Criminal Minds” has been serving up some class A creeps, such as this week’s villain, a mentally disturbed man who dropped sulfuric acid on his niece’s hands because she looked like her mother, whom he loved. The background drama of Prentiss’ return and the team’s reactions to it is icing on the creep cake. A-.

Revenge: Oh, yes. Emily Van Camp’s new drama has teamed up with “Criminal Minds” and “Survivor” to make Wednesday nights that night of the week where I question why humans still exist. The revenge so far has been taken out in very fulfilling ways against people that don’t really deserve better. A hedge fund exec who is tricked into putting it all on a bad stock? Win. A senator who is forced into an early retirement by a secret baby? Another win. The ongoing battle between Van Camp’s Emily and Madeleine Stowe’s Victoria? Win, win, win! This series is such a guilty pleasure so far that I’m giving the first three episodes an A, despite Connor Paolo’s terrible, terrible accent.

The X Factor: Dammit, I’ve been suckered in. “American Idol” has worn thin for me in the past decade, but for some reason my thirst for underdog singing competitions has only strengthened. Simon Cowell continues to find amazing undiscovered talent in every corner of the USA, and for that I am happy. Also, for the first time ever, all of my favorite talent made it into the Top 32. The Judges’ Houses mentorship round is an interesting new take on competition, merging “The Voice’s” competition among the judges with “Idol’s” flair and pedigree. Count me in. A-.

*Community: Ok, so Señor Chang keeps getting more and more annoying, and I don’t really understand how the bankrupted school can keep functioning. But this series just keeps getting funnier and funnier! The study group popularity contest for lab partners? Classic. The Annie-Annie Two faceoff to lead the Greendale Model U.N.? Priceless. Getting to look at Danny Pudi week after week? A.

*Parks and Recreation: Not wanting to be topped by Joel McHale and friends, the team over in Pawnee is on fire this season. The Tammy Zero-Tammy One-Tammy Two-Leslie showdown episode brought together Amy Poehler, Patricia Clarkson, Megan Mullaly (briefly), and Paula Pell for a turpentine-drinking contest for the right to determine Ron’s life. The winner? Viewers. Even better, though, was the season’s third episode, when Leslie’s new book was lampooned when it was discovered that she wasn’t actually born in Pawnee. If Ann’s (Rashida Jones) fight for acceptance wasn’t enough, how about Ben (the delicious Adam Scott) and Tom’s (Aziz Ansari) awkward pseudosexual encounter with Joan (Mo Collins! Yes!) to try to get Leslie’s book into Joan’s Book Club? I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but the season of “Parks and Recreation” to date is getting an A+.

Grey’s Anatomy: Same old, same old. Mer-Der drama, Cristina and Owen fighting and making up, Avery trying and failing, Alex being an asshole, Arizona being cute, Bailey being pissy, and patients being negatively affected by all of it.  Not that it isn’t all entertaining, it’s just that for every epic speech that reminds me why I love “Grey’s,” there are thirty minutes of repetitive plotting. B-.

Person of Interest: This one has been bugging me. I really enjoy this show, or at least I really want to enjoy it. The ongoing battle between the cops and our billionaire heroes is gripping, especially with the billionaire always a few steps ahead. In fact, it reminds me of Bruce Wayne facing off with the Gotham Police. Which makes sense, since the series was created by Jonathan Nolan. That said, it doesn’t feel at all like the other shoe’s about to drop, which really takes away any suspense factor. The cases are interesting, if confusing, but Harold’s (Michael Emerson) insistence that he doesn’t want to play God seems a little hypocritical when he picks one single crime in all of New York City to prevent each episode. I have high hopes here, I just would like the gratification to be a little more instant. B.

*Come ON, people! Watch these shows! “Community” and “Parks and Rec” are without a doubt the two best comedies on network TV right now, yet they’re pulling in numbers about 65% less than their competitor on CBS, the ever-mediocre “Big Bang Theory.” Give Leslie and friends some love. Do it for me.